Belonging matters: 5 tips to strengthen your child’s sense of belonging
“Belonging” has become a bit of a buzzword. But for us, it’s more than just a popular term; it’s what we’re all about. After all, it’s our name! But what does it really mean? Why is it so important? And how can we help our children and youth feel a sense of belonging? In this […]
Pathways to permanency
Learn about the meaning of permanency, and different ways of creating it for children and youth. The term “permanency” means different things to different people. Within the context of child welfare, permanency includes a concept called the Four Dimensions of Permanence, which are relational, cultural, physical and legal permanency. This video reviews each dimension of […]
How adoptees celebrate Mother’s Day
Mother’s and Father’s Day can be difficult celebrations for adoptive families to navigate. In this article Kira, a 21-year-old who was born in China and adopted by a Canadian family, shares how her family celebrates, and how they acknowledge the importance of her birth family. Origins Happy Mother’s Day to all the future, present, and […]
Regional resource guide: Connecting you to your community
Welcome to our updated Regional resource guide! We’ve gone through and updated the guide with new additions (look for the *new* marker), and corrections. This guide is split into five sections: provincial, Coast/Fraser, Kootenays/Thompson-Cariboo/Okanagan, North, and Vancouver Island. This guide focuses on community resources and not-for-profit organizations.
New Beginnings: Mini podcast series
Tune into our podcast below to hear from Isla, a birth mom; Sam, an adoptee; and Thomas, an adoptive dad. This three-part podcast follows the experience of each character as they navigate their way through placement day. Placement day is a complex milestone for those in the adoption process. On this day, the child moves […]
Adoption & permanency 101
This free digital guide explains adopting through the Adopt BC Kids program, intercountry adoption, local infant adoption, and other forms of permanency, including guardianship, custom adoption, and relative adoption. You’re probably here because you’re thinking about adopting. Maybe you’ve come to adoption through unforeseen circumstances or maybe you’ve always known that adoption would be a […]
School and adoption: Navigating the education system
This free digital guide includes information about Individual Education Plan (IEP) meetings, trauma in classrooms, how to talk to teachers about adoption, and more! Learn how you can help your children cope at school, and what advice to give to teachers.
Meet the Yuen family
Tell us about your family! We have one biological daughter (who recently got married) and two children adopted from China. Our first adoption was in October 2007 when we adopted a baby girl and our second adoption was in July 2010 when we adopted a little four-and-a-half-year-old boy. What was your experience like with international […]
What I wish I’d known before adoption
Since Harriet Fancott adopted a baby last year, she’s had time to reflect on what, despite all her preparation, she wasn’t prepared for. Adoption is parenting I wish I’d known more about the realities of parenting a newborn baby before adopting. We were so focused on the details and issues surrounding adoption that the minutiae […]
Predictable adjustments
It is common for children who have spent time in care to release their feelings of grief and loss when they feel they are in a safe place. When the child begins to release these feelings the family will begin to feel it in the household. This feeling is referred to as inducement, you will […]
Finding (some of) my roots
Another adult adoptee shares here story of searching for her birth family, and finding roots that, while limited, help ground her. I was born in December 1953, when my birth mother was almost 30 years old. I always knew I was adopted. I looked like my adopted family on the outside but I didn’t feel […]
We Are Adopted: A community for adoptees
We Are Adopted is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to serving and promoting the interests of adopted people of all ages. They support the exploration of personal and shared experiences for adopted and fostered people through regular meetups, workshops, speakers, resources, and community connections. Visit them and connect at weareadopted.ca. We Are Adopted was created in response […]
My search story
This is an article about the challenges and complexities of searching and reconnecting with a birth parent, and learning to cope when things don’t work out the way you’d hoped they would. I was born in 1973, relinquished at birth and adopted as an eight month old infant. I was born healthy in all respects, […]
10 lessons being adopted taught me
In this article, originally shared on the Lost Daughters website, Lynn Grubb shares some of the key lessons and outlooks on life she discovered as an adopted person. 1. I learned about being a minority Although my skin colour is that of the majority, I learned early in life that I was part of a minority group. […]
The open adoption grid: A new dimension of openness
Lori Holden literally wrote the book on open adoption (The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole). In this article, she presents a new way of thinking about openness. How shall we think of open adoption? I bet if you asked a bunch of people who know about adoption what open […]
Bif Naked’s adoption story: “I’ve been really lucky”
Bif Naked is a member of a lot of communities. Rock and roller, vegan, Canadian, animal lover, breast cancer survivor, humanitarian, adoptee, and author (her memoir, I, Bificus, came out in 2016 and is available from the Belonging Network’s library). Yes, Bif Naked, also known as Beth, is an adoptee and proud of it. In […]
What adoptees need from their parents
The Adopted Voice column was inspired by the #FlipTheScript hashtag campaign, which draws attention to the importance of adoptee voices, especially during Adoption Awareness Month. In this issue, we hear from Catherine Moore, who is both an adoptee and adoptive mother. Adoption is our common ground I’m the co-founder of We Are Adopted, a non-profit […]
Employment insurance and adoption
This is an updated version of an article that originally appeared in Focus on Adoption several years ago. It explains parental benefits in Canada and why adoptive families currently don’t qualify for maternity leave. Under the current Employment Insurance (EI) legislation, biological mothers are entitled to 15 weeks of maternity leave and either 35 weeks […]
Adoptees and suicide risk
Adoptees are four times more likely to attempt suicide than non-adoptees. There’s no easy way to talk about this topic, but talk about it we must. As the adoptive mom of four young adults — two sons adopted as babies and twin daughters adopted at 6 years old — I know what joy adoption can […]
Two real mothers: when openness hurts
In the last few decades, openness in adoption has become the norm. Professional research and the personal experiences of adoptees and birth parents support the idea that some degree of openness is usually best for everyone, even in adoptions from foster care. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy, though. In this article, Sarah, an adoptive […]
Canadians and adoption: New study reveals what we really think
In 2017, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption released a ground-breaking new study of Canadian attitudes and behaviours towards adoption and foster care. The comprehensive document is packed with research and insights, but since it’s also almost 80 pages long, we’ve put together this brief overview of its key findings. Canada loves adoption Awareness of […]
Somatic therapy: A new approach to adoption trauma
For more than 25 years, Catherine has worked in and with the adoption community as a therapist, an adoptee, and an adoptive mom, always searching for a truly effective approach to adoption therapy. In this article, she explains an approach that she’s found to be highly effective for issues related to adoption trauma. The lasting […]
The journey of a lifetime: Why adoptive families need support throughout the years
When potential adoptive parents begin their journey, they’re buoyed by the enthusiasm and support of others. Once they bring their child or children home and make it through the first few months, though, that support tends to dissolve. In this article, an experienced adoptive mom explains why adoptive families need support throughout their entire journey, […]
Mother’s Day
Spring’s here, and Mother’s Day is around the corner. In this section, we offer a variety of perspectives on how to celebrate when adoption is part of your story. When Mother’s Day hurts Holidays are a natural time to reflect on family and the past. For obvious reasons, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are extremely […]
Early adversity and mental health
This article was originally published on the Adoption Council of Ontario’s blog for Bell Let’s Talk day (a social media campaign that encourages Canadians to talk openly about mental health). We were inspired by Kathy’s insight into the connection between early trauma and mental illness in adoptees, and by her ideas on how to help […]
Filling in the blanks
Storytelling can help your child receive a more accurate assessment. Introducing Cat In 2006, Cat went to Liberia, West Africa, to adopt a little girl and planned to spend six months working on opening a health clinic. This experience was life changing, though she witnessed only a small portion of the trauma suffered by the […]
Adopted voice: If they could turn back time…
What adoptees want parents to know If we could go back in time and, with the wisdom of hindsight, ask our parents to do things differently, what would adopted people request? It’s a dream question, of course. What person wouldn’t want the chance to set their parents straight? To help me answer this question more […]
History lessons
As we open our hearts to the future, we can learn from the closed adoptions of the past. Adoption’s early days Before the 19th century, what we now think of as kinship, clan, or custom adoption—compassionate adults incorporating orphaned children into their families—was essential to many cultures. For example, when Irish immigrants died of typhoid […]
Openness: The realistic choice
Open adoptions can be tricky, but they’re the most realistic choice for adopted children, says an adult adoptee. Out of the shadows In 2015, the Donaldson Adoption Institute published a major report called the Modern Adoptive Families Study, which focused on the experiences, perceptions, and needs of non-heterosexual adoptive parents as well as other issues related […]
Trauma matters
Advice from a counsellor on how to recognize and help wounded children and youth. Trauma: adoption’s shadow Many children and youth who are adopted have been exposed to highly stressful situations and traumatic events; however, the resulting special needs these children can experience aren’t always recognized or supported. It’s vital for caregivers and professionals to […]
Ka oopkitmashook’: Métis adoption
Who are the Métis? The Canadian Constitution includes three peoples in its definition of Aboriginal: First Nations, Inuit, and Métis. The Métis emerged as a distinct people and nation on the plains of western North America during the fur trade in the late 1700s. Many of the European traders established familial relationships with First Nations […]
Adoption in Islam
Like any newly married young couple, we (Nazima and Riyad) loved to dream about the next stages our life together. We enjoyed the strong family-oriented upbringings we both experienced, and knew we wanted to have kids ourselves early in our marriage. Unfortunately, within the first year of our lives together, Nazima was diagnosed with advanced […]
LGBTQ adoption series: History and challenges of same sex adoption
Are you wondering about your options for LGBTQ adoption? Explore the stats and facts on LGBTQ adoption in Canada through this video series. What does LGBTQ adoption look like in Canada? Find out in this one-hour informational on-demand webinar. Learn the specific issues and statistics surrounding LGBTQ adoption, and some of the challenges faced by […]
Adopted voice: Whose son, whose daughter
The question of a lifetime The complexity of my adoption story makes it a challenge to tell, but telling it is, I think, essential. It’s a way to preserve memories of the living and dead, to lend their lives some meaning, and to give thanks for the good fortune of having been raised by loving […]
Q&A: FASD and the senses
The growing body of knowledge about interventions and supports that promote success for people with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASDs) often overlooks sensory sensitivities, which can compound their other challenges. While most of us can unconsciously screen out the slight smell of a cleaning product or the faint hum of a computer, many people with […]
Adopted voice: Looking homeward
I remember the noise the most. Car engines idled noxious gasses into the air; heavy footsteps snapped across well-worn concrete. The delicious yet unfamiliar smells of Asian street food filled my nostrils. I stood close to my parents, at the edge of a street corner. Together, we gazed across the road to a building. Above […]
Inuit custom adoption
In the beginning For thousands of years, the customary practice of Inuit families giving their babies to other Inuit families to love as their own has been intricately bound to Inuit culture, worldview, and the kinship system. If a couple couldn’t conceive, they would be humbly and lovingly given a baby. If a child died, […]
Health issues in international adoption
Are you considering adopting internationally? Are you interested in learning about specific health issues facing children coming home to Canada? If so, this video is for you. This video will review common health concerns including infectious conditions such as tuberculosis and intestinal parasites, immunizations—both home and abroad—and review laboratory testing to consider with your family practitioner […]
Adopted voice: Finding silver linings
Sticks and stones Remember that rhyme you learned as a child? “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Obviously words can’t cause physical harm, but I’ve learned they definitely can cause emotional pain, the kind you hold in your heart and wear on your sleeve. The kind that leaves […]
Q&A with the Asante Centre: FASD and adoption
Allison Pooley is the Program Director at the Asante Centre. She assists individuals, family members, and service providers in understanding the diagnostic process as well as the implications for providing integrated post-assessment supports and services. Allison has been involved in FASD prevention and intervention efforts for numerous years both in northern B.C. and the Lower Mainland, […]
Our journey
It’s been hard to see my things destroyed, my personal space obliterated and my patience shattered. It’s been an adjustment to keep up with multiple appointments, lack of information and countless phone calls. It’s been a struggle to not ask too much, push too hard or back off too far. We’ve been through nightmares, perfect […]
Adult adoption: My journey
A story of two unconventional adoptions This is the story of an adoption that seemed like it would never happen, but that worked out almost miraculously in the end. I was adopted twice. In the first year of my life my adoptive mother and I were united in an unconventional way. At the age of […]
Mother’s Day and the adoptive Mom
Mother’s Day brings to mind fresh flowers, blueberry pancakes and homemade cards. It’s a day to be spoiled and fêted by family. But for me, an adoptive mother, it’s never as simple as the Hallmark holiday it’s touted to be. Don’t get me wrong: I feel deep joy in my role as mom to my […]
Caring for Indigenous children
Hn’ skʷést Npànkìtc a (My traditional name is Npànkìtc a) and my English name is Loren Sahara. Nłeʔkepmxkn Scw̓éxmxkn ncéweʔ (I am from the Nłeʔkepmx Nation – people of the creeks). As an Indigenous person, a Caring for First Nations Children Society (CFNCS) instructor, and an adoptive parent, I have been witness to a powerful journey of […]
How one adoptive family handles racism
In our experience, the best lessons we can offer are those that teach our children to externalize racism and assure them we will always be there for them. Externalizing racism Because my husband and I do not share our children’s racial or cultural backgrounds, we work extra hard to help them develop skills and strategies […]
Journey to recovery
This powerful story was the keynote speech at Growing Together: a retreat for parents of persons with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) in January 2010. Hi, my name is Nicolas. First of all, I’d like to thank the organizers of this retreat for asking me here to share with you. I’d also like to thank […]
The grandmother clause
The impact of including grandparents in the adoption (and post-adoption) process. The impact of open adoption on birth and adoptive families is only beginning to be understood. Recent research explores the perspectives of birth grandmothers who had direct contact with their birth grandchildren. The findings clearly demonstrate some of the benefits and challenges of open […]
The homestudy explained
Social worker Carol Blake demystifies what can seem to be a nerve wracking and intrusive process-the adoption homestudy. Quick! Vacuum the rug, dust the furniture, alphabetize the spice rack, the social worker is coming over! The day has finally arrived; your social worker is coming over to start the homestudy. What does she want to […]
Living openness: On showing up
Getting to know you Someone once said that “ninety percent of life is showing up.” This is particularly true in open adoption – something I learned from my son’s birth dad, William. We met William, and his very pregnant girlfriend Sierra, four years ago. He was late, and we were nervous. Sierra’s mother had blown […]
Navigating anxiety
I have always been anxious. I didn’t recognize it until my mid 30s, when I went through full-blown, severe anxiety and depression. After months of hell, I saw the pain as the message it was: “you need to change.” During a lengthy process of growth and learning, I looked back and saw the patterns of […]
