Respite: how to make it a reality for your family
Respite is a vital support for many adoptive, kinship, and other permanency families, but it can be a challenge to access funding and to find trustworthy and reliable caregivers. In this article, an adoptive mom of many explains how to make respite a basic part of your family lifestyle rather than a last resort. “I […]
Why we embraced our kids’ regression
“Daaaddyyy… I reddy for waaaiipe…!” My recently adopted child yelled out. “Coming!” I sang back. I look back now, years later, to those daily routines of officially being a bum wiper for my children as precious moments. They were opportunities for each of my children to know that I am dependable and committed, and that […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom series
Parenting through adoption comes with unique joys and challenges. In our Diary of an Adoptive Mom series, one mother opens her heart to share her real-life experiences, lessons learned, and candid thoughts while raising three adopted children. This series ran from 2006 to 2010. Note: Diary entries #1 to #7 are unavailable
The benefits of big families
Do big adoptive families work better for children with attachment issues? The families we spoke to all think so. These days, having numerous kids tends to be considered eccentric. For some children though, a bursting-at-the-seams-family may be exactly what they need. To learn more about how big adoptive families can benefit certain kids, and what […]
When that sibling call comes
Have you discussed the possibility of being asked to adopt one of your child’s siblings? As an adoptive parent, there is a chance that one day you will be asked if you would like to adopt one of your child’s siblings—maybe a newborn, perhaps a teen. That phone call will probably send you into instant […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #20
In the twentieth of our series, our mom of three kids—Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn—faces a big family Christmas. Not only is she worried about all the preparation and gift buying, she’s concerned that her family will judge her kids and her parenting. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” I […]
Recognizing and coping with post-adoption depression
Like new biological parents, some adoptive parents can become blue or even experience some depression once a baby or child comes home. This can occur for several reasons. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, but you do need to recognize it and get some help. I remember walking down the streets of East Vancouver pushing my newborn baby’s […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19
In the nineteenth of our series, our mom of three kids—Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn—wonders why so much information about her children’s past is still unavailable, and why she’s listed as Mom on their birth certificates. The other day I started to think about all my kids’ personal information being completely sealed […]
Advocating adoption – maybe?
New York adoption agency says, “Slow down!” Speed is the enemy of successful adoptions. According to Maris Blechner, in making a successful adoption placement, the age, race, or health of a child makes little difference. Neither do the marital and financial status, the location, or the parenting experience of the prospective parents. What matters most […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #18
In the eighteenth of our series, we present the, until now, secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids–Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn. This time, mom celebrates the imminent finalization of the children’s adoption, and gains some valuable information. I can’t believe it! The social worker just phoned and said she […]
Finally on the way to forever
Maya and John Benson adopted a sibling group almost three years ago. Despite careful preparation, and being experienced foster parents, the couple were soon devastated by the behaviours of their traumatized children—especially their oldest son. Being a forever family quickly seemed an impossible fantasy. Some parents who have adopted older kids or sibling groups will […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #17
In the seventeenth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids: Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn. This time Diary Mom escapes the mayhem at home for tea, cookies, and her first ever massage. Who invented Pro-D days? Personally, I think it’s part of an evil […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #16
In the sixteenth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids: Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn. This time, a camping trip tests Diary Mom’s patience, and she prepares for a new school year. It’s been a hectic summer, and I have to admit some of […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #15
In the fifteenth of our series, we present the—until-now—secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom has been given an assignment by a behaviourist, Roz, who has some hard truths. Well, here’s another of those heart-wrenchingly truthful journal assignments from Roz. Things I wish I’d have known before adopting […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #13
In the thirteenth of our series we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom feels better, and weathers Christmas. December Just this morning I was sitting in the van (as usual) waiting for the girls to finish preschool (as usual) when this bizarre and unfamiliar feeling […]
Helping children make sense of a painful birth history
Learn how to support your child by talking openly about adoption at every stage. This guide covers essential tips, from using positive language early on to addressing tough topics, fostering a safe space for your child to express their feelings, and helping them form their identity with a clear, supportive narrative. 1. Be proactive—use the “A” […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #11
In the eleventh of our series we present the, until now, secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom faces her own feelings of loss over the life she had before the second adoption–a loss she feels is often not properly acknowledged. I feel like such an idiot; I […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #10
In the tenth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. The behaviourist, Roz, who has come in to help the struggling family is teaching Mom how actions speak louder than words. Roz has been observing the kids for a while now and although she still hasn’t come […]
What I’ve learned about openness and adoption
Karen Madeiros, former Executive Director of the Belonging Network, shares her insights as an adoptive mother of two children from the US. Having personally experienced and witnessed the evolution of openness in adoption, she reflects on the valuable lessons learned from her journey. Why did you open up your adoptions? Like many prospective adoptive parents, […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #9
In the ninth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, mom loses confidence that she can cope. The past ten days have been an absolute nightmare. The foster parents came for a visit last weekend. We’d planned this a month ago, and we all through […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #8
In the eighth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. After a couple of months having the children home, our mom finally admits she’s overwhelmed and needs help. No, I am not writing this from the psych ward. However, there are times when that is a definite […]
FASD support group: A parenting lifeline
“Are we scaring you?” the facilitator asked me in a very concerned voice. “Not at all,” I lied. My husband and I had recently brought home a sibling group of two, both of whom had been prentally exposed to alcohol and drugs. Despite all the reading and education we had done in advance, nothing prepared […]
Ignoring the warning signs: Divorce after infertility and adoption
“There is a problem. This could impact your ability to have children,” were the words I heard from my gynecologist after having laproscopic surgery. My heart sank. I had wanted to be a mom from the time I was four years old. When I thought I would never be a mom, I felt incomplete, ugly, […]
Adopting a special needs child: Our journey
About six years ago, we decided it was time to start building our family. When the old-fashioned way didn’t work for us, I began researching international adoption. The enormous costs, as well as the health problems many children face, were discouraging, so I spoke with our doctor about other options. He referred us to a […]