Meet the Schmidt family
We are excited to announce that the Schmidt family are the draw prize winners of our 2024 This is Belonging photo contest! Read more about their story and how their family grew through adoption. Tell us about your family’s story. What made you decide that adoption was right for you? After struggling with infertility for […]
Meet the Black family
We are excited to announce that the Black family has won second place in our 2024 This is Belonging photo contest! Read about Sara’s experience adopting internationally as a single parent and be sure to see their winning photo at the end of this story. Tell us about your adoption story. What made you decide […]
Meet the Loeffler family
We are excited to announce that the Loeffler family has won first place in our 2024 This is Belonging photo contest! Be sure to see their winning photo at the end of this story. Tell us about your adoption story. What made you decide that adoption was right for you? In 2020, we received news […]
Meet the Hogan family
Introducing the Hogan family. After emigrating to Canada, Terry and Paula turned to adoption to start their family together. Their twin daughters have taught them the importance of embracing differences and appreciating the little things. As long-time members of the Belonging Netowrk community, their experiences are a testament to the value of connections and support. […]
Regional resource guide: Connecting you to your community
Welcome to our updated Regional resource guide! We’ve gone through and updated the guide with new additions (look for the *new* marker), and corrections. This guide is split into five sections: provincial, Coast/Fraser, Kootenays/Thompson-Cariboo/Okanagan, North, and Vancouver Island. This guide focuses on community resources and not-for-profit organizations.
Child sexual abuse: A guide for parents
Detecting signs of sexual abuse—and then determining a course of action—may leave parents feeling overwhelmed. This free digital guide is a helpful starting point for adoption and permanency parents, and essential reading for anyone who parents or works with children and youth. As the parent or a guardian of a child who has been adopted from […]
He said. She said. Couple adopts a toddler from the Ministry
Tracy and Keith recently adopted a little girl through the Ministry. While the ecstatic parents were enthusiastic about telling their story, we cannot use their real names until the adoption is finalized. Otherwise, all information is accurate. Describe your family Tracy: We live in the country on an acre of property with a creek in the […]
Adoption & permanency 101
This free digital guide explains adopting through the Adopt BC Kids program, intercountry adoption, local infant adoption, and other forms of permanency, including guardianship, custom adoption, and relative adoption. You’re probably here because you’re thinking about adopting. Maybe you’ve come to adoption through unforeseen circumstances or maybe you’ve always known that adoption would be a […]
School and adoption: Navigating the education system
This free digital guide includes information about Individual Education Plan (IEP) meetings, trauma in classrooms, how to talk to teachers about adoption, and more! Learn how you can help your children cope at school, and what advice to give to teachers.
Parenting a child with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD)
This video offers information and practical strategies for parents of prenatally exposed children. Parenting a child with FASD: It’s a diagnosis, not a label This video covers topics such as identifying behaviors related to FASD, parenting strategies, diagnosis process and community resources for families. It includes interviews with a young woman living with FASD and […]
Meet the Yuen family
Tell us about your family! We have one biological daughter (who recently got married) and two children adopted from China. Our first adoption was in October 2007 when we adopted a baby girl and our second adoption was in July 2010 when we adopted a little four-and-a-half-year-old boy. What was your experience like with international […]
What I wish I’d known before adoption
Since Harriet Fancott adopted a baby last year, she’s had time to reflect on what, despite all her preparation, she wasn’t prepared for. Adoption is parenting I wish I’d known more about the realities of parenting a newborn baby before adopting. We were so focused on the details and issues surrounding adoption that the minutiae […]
Adoption-friendly family trees
At some point, almost every child will have to tackle a family tree school project. Classic family tree assignments assume every kid comes from an intact biological family with one mom and one dad, which can leave adopted kids feeling confused, left out, and sad. These alternative family trees welcome kids from all families to […]
Shame and the adopted child
Catherine is the co-founder of the non-profit organization We Are Adopted/Adoptees Association. In this article she draws on her personal experience as an adoptee and an adoptive mother as well as her professional experience as a registered clinical counsellor to explain why shame and adoption are so intertwined. Shadowed by shame Shame is something that […]
Open hearts, open wounds
My daughter Libby was born as I held her birth mother Carla’s hand, breathing with her through the agony of labour. When her daughter drew her first breath, Carla looked at me and said, “Congratulations on your new baby.” Then she asked me to cut the umbilical cord. I was overwhelmed by a staggering mix […]
Meet the Berg family
Adoption: a lifelong dream Janice’s interest in adoption started when she was just a little girl. She remembers one of her favourite childhood games was to play “adoption agency” with her dolls. She’d line them all up on her bedroom floor and then choose one or two to “adopt.” That idea obviously had staying power. […]
Occupational therapy for adoptive families
Find out how an Occupational Therapist can help you build your adoptive family in this informational video. Drawing on your community’s resources is a great way to build a resilient adoptive family. In this one-hour video, learn how an Occupational Therapist can help you! Topics covered will be: areas in which an OT can help […]
Many doors, no master key
Brandan’s story – and mine As the adoptive parent of 10 children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders, I know how difficult it can be to access services and develop a support network for people with FASDs. I regularly give presentations about FASD to groups, using the story of my son Brandan’s life (with his full […]
Meet the Eisler family
Within our first year of being married, my husband and I knew that building our family may come by way of adoption. I suffered from debilitating but undiagnosed pain, and doctors raised the possibility of a hysterectomy. It took another 14 years of pain and failed attempts to conceive before I found a doctor who […]
Making the holidays happy for your family
Cathy, along with her amazing partner, Dave, is parent to 16 children: four by birth and twelve by adoption, aged from 33 down to 12 years of age. She has nine grandchildren with number ten on the way. Together, Cathy and Dave have presided over countless holiday celebrations with their everchanging family. We couldn’t think […]
Extreme parenting: Taking charge with love
My kids matter, but I’m in charge I want my kids to know that what they like and what they think matters to me. My predisposition is to say yes to all possibilities. I only say “no” after some consideration. However, my kids were starting to get the impression that it was OK to disrespect […]
Meet the Calhoun family
Like many couples, John Calhoun and Carly Bates found their way to adoption after experiencing infertility. It wasn’t an out-of-left-field choice for them, though. Carly says she told John on their first date that she wanted to adopt. It just took them a few years to get there. They knew they wanted to experience what […]
Navigating adoption questions with love
My husband and I are the very proud parents of two children, ages four-and-a-half and eight, who joined our family by adoption as newborns. They have known about their adoption from a young age. I have a story to share of an experience I had with our daughter, then aged two-and-a-half, at a park. While she […]
Ask the expert: When parenting gets tough
Adoption is a rewarding journey, but it can come with unexpected challenges. If your child is struggling to adjust, you’re not alone. Social worker Susan Lees shares insights and resources to help adoptive parents navigate this journey with support and confidence. “Two years ago we adopted a child of six. We have found parenting him […]
Parents or children: Whose job is it to change?
I was presenting at a workshop recently and mentioned, in an off-hand way, that I wondered what surprises we would find with our next adoption. A woman in the front row shot up her hand (front row people are like that). “What do you mean your next adoption? You already have nine children. Why would […]
How one adoptive family handles racism
In our experience, the best lessons we can offer are those that teach our children to externalize racism and assure them we will always be there for them. Externalizing racism Because my husband and I do not share our children’s racial or cultural backgrounds, we work extra hard to help them develop skills and strategies […]
Q&A: What people ask us about adopting special needs children
Note: This Q&A was originally published in 2013, when terms like “special needs” were more commonly used. We recognize that language evolves, and we now typically use terms such as “support needs,” “complex needs,” or “disabilities.” We’ve kept the original wording to preserve the authors’ voices and experiences as they were shared at the time. […]
Tips for families considering NAS or alcohol-affected babies
Adapted from: Susan Edelstein, Children with Prenatal Alcohol and/or Other Drug Exposure: Weighing the Risks of Adoption. Washington, DC: CWLA Press, 1995. Source: The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute (adoption research and studies).
What it’s like to live with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD)
This information applies to any individual who is functionally dependent on others in some specific areas, and who does not learn from correction, or who does not “get” why people are distressed with their behavior. Parents, teachers and support persons of individuals with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) are sometimes faced with episodes of extreme […]
Are you up to parenting a child with FASD?
When I met Susan Bell* in her large, Surrey home, I was immediately struck by how ordered and tidy it seemed, especially considering it’s home to several teens. I had pictured a far more hectic, cluttered place. Susan ushered me into her equally immaculate office, and we spoke for two hours about parenting kids with […]
The truth about confabulation
Is it lying? No, it’s confabulation and there’s a big difference! Time and time again we hear from adoptive parents that one of the hardest behaviours to take is children lying to them. They experience the lie as a personal affront, a show of disrespect, and a harbinger of anti-social behaviour to come. There are […]
School 101: For adoptive parents
Starting school for the first time, or a new school year, can present challenges for adoptive parents and their children. We have prepared this brief guide to help prepare you and your child for the school experience and to circumvent some of the problems you may encounter. Newly adopted older kids International adoption Racism and […]
Finding First Nations roots
As adoptive parents who began our journey with our application to adopt almost 25 years ago, we’ve seen some changes along the way. One of those changes has been regarding the adoption of children of First Nations ancestry into non-First Nations homes. Our first adoption was a child of First Nations ancestry, and we were […]
Respite: how to make it a reality for your family
Respite is a vital support for many adoptive families, but it can be a challenge to access funding and to find trustworthy and reliable caregivers. In this article, an adoptive mom of many explains how to make respite a basic part of your family lifestyle rather than a last resort. “I can’t deal with this […]
Why we embraced our kids’ regression
“Daaaddyyy… I reddy for waaaiipe…!” My recently adopted child yelled out. “Coming!” I sang back. I look back now, years later, to those daily routines of officially being a bum wiper for my children as precious moments. They were opportunities for each of my children to know that I am dependable and committed, and that […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom series
Here are some of the articles from our long-running Diary of an Adoptive Mom series. This adoptive mother shares her experiences and secret thoughts of raising three children. This series ran from 2006 to 2010. Note: Diary entries #1 to #7 are unavailable
The benefits of big families
Do big adoptive families work better for children with attachment issues? The families we spoke to all think so. These days, having numerous kids tends to be considered eccentric. For some children though, a bursting-at-the-seams-family may be exactly what they need. To learn more about how big adoptive families can benefit certain kids, and what […]
When that sibling call comes
Have you discussed the possibility of being asked to adopt one of your child’s siblings? As an adoptive parent, there is a chance that one day you will be asked if you would like to adopt one of your child’s siblings—maybe a newborn, perhaps a teen. That phone call will probably send you into instant […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #20
In the twentieth of our series, our mom of three kids—Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn—faces a big family Christmas. Not only is she worried about all the preparation and gift buying, she’s concerned that her family will judge her kids and her parenting. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” I […]
Recognizing and coping with post-adoption depression
Like new biological parents, some adoptive parents can become blue or even experience some depression once a baby or child comes home. This can occur for several reasons. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, but you do need to recognize it and get some help. I remember walking down the streets of East Vancouver pushing my newborn baby’s […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19
In the nineteenth of our series, our mom of three kids—Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn—wonders why so much information about her children’s past is still unavailable, and why she’s listed as Mom on their birth certificates. The other day I started to think about all my kids’ personal information being completely sealed […]
Advocating adoption – maybe?
New York adoption agency says, “Slow down!” Speed is the enemy of successful adoptions. According to Maris Blechner, in making a successful adoption placement, the age, race, or health of a child makes little difference. Neither do the marital and financial status, the location, or the parenting experience of the prospective parents. What matters most […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #18
In the eighteenth of our series, we present the, until now, secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids–Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn. This time, mom celebrates the imminent finalization of the children’s adoption, and gains some valuable information. I can’t believe it! The social worker just phoned and said she […]
Finally on the way to forever
Maya and John Benson adopted a sibling group almost three years ago. Despite careful preparation, and being experienced foster parents, the couple were soon devastated by the behaviours of their traumatized children—especially their oldest son. Being a forever family quickly seemed an impossible fantasy. Some parents who have adopted older kids or sibling groups will […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #17
In the seventeenth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids: Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn. This time Diary Mom escapes the mayhem at home for tea, cookies, and her first ever massage. Who invented Pro-D days? Personally, I think it’s part of an evil […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #16
In the sixteenth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids: Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn. This time, a camping trip tests Diary Mom’s patience, and she prepares for a new school year. It’s been a hectic summer, and I have to admit some of […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #15
In the fifteenth of our series, we present the—until-now—secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom has been given an assignment by a behaviourist, Roz, who has some hard truths. Well, here’s another of those heart-wrenchingly truthful journal assignments from Roz. Things I wish I’d have known before adopting […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #13
In the thirteenth of our series we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom feels better, and weathers Christmas. December Just this morning I was sitting in the van (as usual) waiting for the girls to finish preschool (as usual) when this bizarre and unfamiliar feeling […]
Helping children make sense of a painful birth history
Learn how to support your child by talking openly about adoption at every stage. This guide covers essential tips, from using positive language early on to addressing tough topics, fostering a safe space for your child to express their feelings, and helping them form their identity with a clear, supportive narrative. 1. Be proactive—use the “A” […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #11
In the eleventh of our series we present the, until now, secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom faces her own feelings of loss over the life she had before the second adoption–a loss she feels is often not properly acknowledged. I feel like such an idiot; I […]
