Adoptees and suicide risk
Adoptees are four times more likely to attempt suicide than non-adoptees. There’s no easy way to talk about this topic, but talk about it we must. As the adoptive mom of four young adults — two sons adopted as babies and twin daughters adopted at 6 years old — I know what joy adoption can […]
Parental leave for guardians: One woman’s battle for benefits
When a child joins a new family, everyone needs time to adjust and attach. That’s why parental leave and benefits exist. Unfortunately, not all new parents qualify for these benefits. In this article, Willow Yamauchi shares her experience and explains what needs to change so families like hers aren’t excluded in their times of need. […]
Grandmother to guardian
A growing number of grandparents in BC are living with and raising their grandchildren. In this story, a grandmother shares her very personal experience with becoming the legal guardian of her daughter’s child. To protect the privacy of her daughter and grandchild, names have been redacted. Stuck in the system I remember getting the call […]
Two real mothers: when openness hurts
In the last few decades, openness in adoption has become the norm. Professional research and the personal experiences of adoptees and birth parents support the idea that some degree of openness is usually best for everyone, even in adoptions from foster care. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy, though. In this article, Sarah, an adoptive […]
Canadians and adoption: New study reveals what we really think
In 2017, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption released a ground-breaking new study of Canadian attitudes and behaviours towards adoption and foster care. The comprehensive document is packed with research and insights, but since it’s also almost 80 pages long, we’ve put together this brief overview of its key findings. Canada loves adoption Awareness of […]
Somatic therapy: A new approach to adoption trauma
For more than 25 years, Catherine has worked in and with the adoption community as a therapist, an adoptee, and an adoptive mom, always searching for a truly effective approach to adoption therapy. In this article, she explains an approach that she’s found to be highly effective for issues related to adoption trauma. The lasting […]
The journey of a lifetime: Why adoptive families need support throughout the years
When potential adoptive parents begin their journey, they’re buoyed by the enthusiasm and support of others. Once they bring their child or children home and make it through the first few months, though, that support tends to dissolve. In this article, an experienced adoptive mom explains why adoptive families need support throughout their entire journey, […]
FASD: It’s not just the brain
Research reveals that prenatal alcohol exposure impacts the entire body, not just the brain. A whole-body disorder For the past several decades, the widely held assumption in the field of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD) research has been that a fetus’s brain is by far more vulnerable to the damaging effects of alcohol exposure than […]
Meet the Ash family
There are hundreds of teenagers in foster care who need permanent homes. In this interview Paula*, a mom who’s adopted four youth, shares her journey.*all names have been changed to protect the family’s privacy. Tell me about your family. I live in a small, coastal town. I’m a single mom. I have seven children: Naomi […]
Mother’s Day
Spring’s here, and Mother’s Day is around the corner. In this section, we offer a variety of perspectives on how to celebrate when adoption is part of your story. When Mother’s Day hurts Holidays are a natural time to reflect on family and the past. For obvious reasons, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are extremely […]
DNA tests and adoption
As we celebrate the Belonging Network’s 40th anniversary, we’re reflecting on the past but also looking ahead to the future. This article explores one scientific advancement that’s already changing the world of adoption: DNA tests. The end of closed adoptions Open adoption has been championed for over 30 years, but the level and frequency of […]
Be ready to support LGBTQ youth
For many youth, foster and adoptive homes can be safe places for care and support when the biological family does not provide appropriate care. Unfortunately, many lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth are placed in foster homes where their caretakers do not understand or accept these youth because of their gender or sexual orientation. […]
Meet the Packer family
Editor’s note: Cindy Packer, the matriarch of the Packer family, sadly passed away in December of 2018. The Belonging Network wishes all the best to the Packer’s during this difficult time, and we know that Cindy’s kind and generous legacy lives on in her children. Three cultures plus infinite love equals one unique family! An […]
Adoption-friendly family trees
At some point, almost every child will have to tackle a family tree school project. Classic family tree assignments assume every kid comes from an intact biological family with one mom and one dad, which can leave adopted kids feeling confused, left out, and sad. These alternative family trees welcome kids from all families to […]
Caring for Indigenous families
The Indigenous Perspectives Society (IPS), formerly Caring for First Nations Children Society, is a registered charitable non-profit founded in 1994. IPS has played a significant role in the delivery of training and policy development in the Indigenous child welfare field. We interviewed IPS staff about their recent move into providing support and training to caregivers […]
DNA testing 101
Explore the promises and pitfalls of DNA testing and adoption. In this video, you’ll learn how to use consumer DNA tests to find your ethnic origins and biological relatives. It will also prepare you for unexpected discoveries, teach you how to protect your privacy, and explain why closed adoptions are effectively a thing of the […]
Meet the Imrie family
Meet the Imrie family: Jody is a special education teacher and foster-turned-adoptive mom who lives in Vancouver with her daughter (6) and son (7). How did you get started as a foster parent? From the time I was a teenager, I always knew I wanted to adopt children. I just always felt that there were […]
Early adversity and mental health
This article was originally published on the Adoption Council of Ontario’s blog for Bell Let’s Talk day (a social media campaign that encourages Canadians to talk openly about mental health). We were inspired by Kathy’s insight into the connection between early trauma and mental illness in adoptees, and by her ideas on how to help […]
Filling in the blanks
Storytelling can help your child receive a more accurate assessment. Introducing Cat In 2006, Cat went to Liberia, West Africa, to adopt a little girl and planned to spend six months working on opening a health clinic. This experience was life changing, though she witnessed only a small portion of the trauma suffered by the […]
Permanency matters!
Their lives, their words, their voices: why we should listen and what we can do. Permanency: a priority for youth In June, the Federation of BC Youth in Care Networks (FBCYICN) released their 2016 YouthSpeak Research Report. It’s the result of two years of consultation with hundreds of BC youth in and from foster care between […]
Adopted voice: If they could turn back time…
What adoptees want parents to know If we could go back in time and, with the wisdom of hindsight, ask our parents to do things differently, what would adopted people request? It’s a dream question, of course. What person wouldn’t want the chance to set their parents straight? To help me answer this question more […]
Be prepared! Kids’ health and international adoption
Before you travel Once you’re there Supply list: Syringes Ear or under arm thermometer for infants/toddlers; oral thermometer for older children Dosage spoon Children’s acetaminophen, ibuprofen Polyvisol with Iron (multivitamin) Nix (for lice) Nix Lotion (for scabies) Hydrocortisone Cream 1% (for eczema and contact dermatitis) Benadryl (for itching due to hives or rashes) Mycostatin or […]
History lessons
As we open our hearts to the future, we can learn from the closed adoptions of the past. Adoption’s early days Before the 19th century, what we now think of as kinship, clan, or custom adoption—compassionate adults incorporating orphaned children into their families—was essential to many cultures. For example, when Irish immigrants died of typhoid […]
Openness: The realistic choice
Open adoptions can be tricky, but they’re the most realistic choice for adopted children, says an adult adoptee. Out of the shadows In 2015, the Donaldson Adoption Institute published a major report called the Modern Adoptive Families Study, which focused on the experiences, perceptions, and needs of non-heterosexual adoptive parents as well as other issues related […]
Trauma matters
Advice from a counsellor on how to recognize and help wounded children and youth. Trauma: adoption’s shadow Many children and youth who are adopted have been exposed to highly stressful situations and traumatic events; however, the resulting special needs these children can experience aren’t always recognized or supported. It’s vital for caregivers and professionals to […]
Ka oopkitmashook’: Métis adoption
Who are the Métis? The Canadian Constitution includes three peoples in its definition of Aboriginal: First Nations, Inuit, and Métis. The Métis emerged as a distinct people and nation on the plains of western North America during the fur trade in the late 1700s. Many of the European traders established familial relationships with First Nations […]
Adoption in Islam
Like any newly married young couple, we (Nazima and Riyad) loved to dream about the next stages our life together. We enjoyed the strong family-oriented upbringings we both experienced, and knew we wanted to have kids ourselves early in our marriage. Unfortunately, within the first year of our lives together, Nazima was diagnosed with advanced […]
Open hearts, open wounds
My daughter Libby was born as I held her birth mother Carla’s hand, breathing with her through the agony of labour. When her daughter drew her first breath, Carla looked at me and said, “Congratulations on your new baby.” Then she asked me to cut the umbilical cord. I was overwhelmed by a staggering mix […]
LGBTQ adoption series: History and challenges of same sex adoption
Are you wondering about your options for LGBTQ adoption? Explore the stats and facts on LGBTQ adoption in Canada through this video series. What does LGBTQ adoption look like in Canada? Find out in this one-hour informational on-demand webinar. Learn the specific issues and statistics surrounding LGBTQ adoption, and some of the challenges faced by […]
Adopted voice: Whose son, whose daughter
The question of a lifetime The complexity of my adoption story makes it a challenge to tell, but telling it is, I think, essential. It’s a way to preserve memories of the living and dead, to lend their lives some meaning, and to give thanks for the good fortune of having been raised by loving […]
Meet the Alexander family
Three years ago, Dave and Juanita Alexander found themselves halfway around the world with 18 suitcases, 12 carry-ons, a year’s worth of supplies and four children. Dave and Juanita, have collectively lived and worked in five countries (including Canada), and have four beautiful children through adoption. In 2012, they uprooted their lives to move to […]
Q&A: FASD and the senses
The growing body of knowledge about interventions and supports that promote success for people with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASDs) often overlooks sensory sensitivities, which can compound their other challenges. While most of us can unconsciously screen out the slight smell of a cleaning product or the faint hum of a computer, many people with […]
Rooted in rituals
Everyday occasions A ritual, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is “a prescribed order of performing religious or other devotional service.” Rituals take place on occasions like Hanukkah, Easter, the Lunar New Year, birthdays, and Thanksgiving. They don’t have to be religious in nature; baking Christmas cookies with your mom and sister is as much […]
Finding family online
All over the world, people are using the Internet to seek out information about their roots. It’s now the norm for adoptees and birthparents to use social media to search for missing pieces of their biological puzzle without any need for detectives, red tape, agencies, or intermediaries. Things have changed so fast that parents, educators, […]
Adopted voice: Looking homeward
I remember the noise the most. Car engines idled noxious gasses into the air; heavy footsteps snapped across well-worn concrete. The delicious yet unfamiliar smells of Asian street food filled my nostrils. I stood close to my parents, at the edge of a street corner. Together, we gazed across the road to a building. Above […]
Inuit custom adoption
In the beginning For thousands of years, the customary practice of Inuit families giving their babies to other Inuit families to love as their own has been intricately bound to Inuit culture, worldview, and the kinship system. If a couple couldn’t conceive, they would be humbly and lovingly given a baby. If a child died, […]
Adopted voice: Six ways to support your adopted child
“Adopted Voice” is our response to the #FlipTheScript campaign, which promotes the importance of making space for and listening to the voices of adopted people. If you’re an adoptee of any age who’s interested in writing a column for “Adopted Voice,” we’d love to hear from you! Reach us at editor@belongingnetwork.com. Advice from an adoptee […]
Increasing adoption placement success
A strengths-based approach Everyone begins a new adoptive placement with high hopes that a “forever” family has been created. Sadly, about 15% of adoptive families find their dreams shattered as they realize that despite everyone’s best intentions, the adoption isn’t going to work. An adoption breakdown is heartbreaking for everyone involved: the social workers who […]
Openness in adoption
Are you new to adoption and the topic of openness? This introductory video will help you understand the terms and definitions of openness in adoption. What is openness? What is the history of openness? What does openness look like in an adoptive family? What is an openness agreement? Does openness change with time? What is […]
Health issues in international adoption
Are you considering adopting internationally? Are you interested in learning about specific health issues facing children coming home to Canada? If so, this video is for you. This video will review common health concerns including infectious conditions such as tuberculosis and intestinal parasites, immunizations—both home and abroad—and review laboratory testing to consider with your family practitioner […]
A waiting parent’s plea
Inspiration from Alberta For 32 years, Alberta has profiled children in need of adoption on their weekly Wednesday’s Child TV program. For 12 years, the province has also successfully profiled “harder to place” children on a public website. These campaigns regularly generate new applications from potential parents who go on to be matched with waiting […]
Adopted voice: Finding silver linings
Sticks and stones Remember that rhyme you learned as a child? “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Obviously words can’t cause physical harm, but I’ve learned they definitely can cause emotional pain, the kind you hold in your heart and wear on your sleeve. The kind that leaves […]
Meet the Berg family
Adoption: a lifelong dream Janice’s interest in adoption started when she was just a little girl. She remembers one of her favourite childhood games was to play “adoption agency” with her dolls. She’d line them all up on her bedroom floor and then choose one or two to “adopt.” That idea obviously had staying power. […]
Q&A with the Asante Centre: FASD and adoption
Allison Pooley is the Program Director at the Asante Centre. She assists individuals, family members, and service providers in understanding the diagnostic process as well as the implications for providing integrated post-assessment supports and services. Allison has been involved in FASD prevention and intervention efforts for numerous years both in northern B.C. and the Lower Mainland, […]
Meet the Vaillancourt family
My first encounter with the idea of children in care who needed families was during a church service as a little girl. The speaker shared unsettling statistics about kids who age out of care and end up incarcerated, homeless, or worse; kids who are separated from their siblings; and young adults who have no place […]
Many doors, no master key
Brandan’s story – and mine As the adoptive parent of 10 children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders, I know how difficult it can be to access services and develop a support network for people with FASDs. I regularly give presentations about FASD to groups, using the story of my son Brandan’s life (with his full […]
Adopted Voice: It’s not about gratitude
My adoption story Prior to my adoption, I lived in Tennessee with my birth mother (in utero) and then spent one year in foster care. Doctors’ assessments of my potential medical issues deterred black families from adopting me, so a white couple with experience parenting children with special needs was selected. I moved across the […]
Cultural planning
What’s the process for adopting Aboriginal children in BC? Find out in this video with BC’s Director of Adoption, Dr. Anne Clayton. This video covers the process of adopting Aboriginal children & youth in BC, the role of the Exceptions Committee and the importance of cultural planning. Due to significant legislative changes around Indigenous jurisdiction over child welfare, some of the information in […]
Our journey
It’s been hard to see my things destroyed, my personal space obliterated and my patience shattered. It’s been an adjustment to keep up with multiple appointments, lack of information and countless phone calls. It’s been a struggle to not ask too much, push too hard or back off too far. We’ve been through nightmares, perfect […]
Unexpected challenges
My desire to explore the unexpected led me to talk to two sets of parents about their journeys through adoption and into being a family. When adopting, these couples experience trials they had never have imagined. Some of the unique hurdles they faced were predictable, while others were completely unexpected. Frances, Gaynor, and Scott Frances […]
