Prenatal exposure to maternal smoking
When a mother smokes during pregnancy, harmful chemicals like nicotine, carbon monoxide, and tar reach the baby. These substances reduce oxygen supply and impede growth, leading to various health complications. Recognizing the potential health issues linked to prenatal smoking is crucial for providing effective support. Health risks associated with prenatal smoking Children exposed to smoking […]
Supporting your foster child to consider adoption
We get it. This is hard. It can be really challenging supporting a child that you love and care for to move to a permanent placement. As a foster parent, you have been trying to provide a loving home, a sense of belonging, safety, and stability. It can feel contradictory to support a child to […]
Teen adoption Q&A: part two
In part two of our teen adoption Q&A, Ashleigh Martinflatt, a clinical counsellor, post-secondary instructor, and adoptive parent, dives deeper into the journey of providing permanency for teens. She addresses concerns around bonding, managing missed milestones, navigating the mixed emotions teens may experience, and offers advice on supporting adopted teens. I’m scared that I won’t […]
Teen adoption Q&A: part one
Ashleigh Martinflatt is a registered social worker, clinical counsellor, and post-secondary instructor, teaching courses on trauma, child abuse, and neglect in both Social Work and Child and Youth Care degree programs. Most importantly, Ashleigh is an adoptive parent herself. In part one of this Q&A, Ashleigh shares her expertise on the unique aspects of adopting […]
Youth finds a forever family
Liz is 18 years old. For more than a decade, she has moved between foster homes. She has also had to face the sadness of being separated from her sister, who found permanency with a family located far away. Traditional methods to find a family didn’t work for Liz. Social workers from the Ministry of […]
Belonging matters: 5 tips to strengthen your child’s sense of belonging
“Belonging” has become a bit of a buzzword. But for us, it’s more than just a popular term; it’s what we’re all about. After all, it’s our name! But what does it really mean? Why is it so important? And how can we help our children and youth feel a sense of belonging? In this […]
Meet the Hogan family
Introducing the Hogan family. After emigrating to Canada, Terry and Paula turned to adoption to start their family together. Their twin daughters have taught them the importance of embracing differences and appreciating the little things. As long-time members of the Belonging Network community, their experiences are a testament to the value of connections and support. […]
Pathways to permanency
Learn about the meaning of permanency, and different ways of creating it for children and youth. The term “permanency” means different things to different people. Within the context of child welfare, permanency includes a concept called the Four Dimensions of Permanence, which are relational, cultural, physical and legal permanency. This video reviews each dimension of […]
Meet the McKinney family
Four years ago, Erin McKinney shared her story with the Belonging Network about her experience of adopting N, her second cousin. Their story continues as Erin shares updates about their lives as N transitions into adulthood. Erin’s unwavering support and commitment have nurtured N’s accomplishments, from graduating high school to landing his first job and […]
Meet Jan Radford
Adopting from Romania in the 1990s After four years of attempting to get pregnant through artificial means, Jan and her partner at the time, Lindsey, decided to give up on starting a family. “[We decided] we’ll just spend the college fund and have fun,” Jan says of their decision, laughing. But soon after, they learned […]
He said. She said. Couple adopts a toddler from the Ministry
Tracy and Keith recently adopted a little girl through the Ministry. While the ecstatic parents were enthusiastic about telling their story, we cannot use their real names until the adoption is finalized. Otherwise, all information is accurate. Describe your family Tracy: We live in the country on an acre of property with a creek in the […]
School 101: 8 tips to support your newly adopted child
Starting school can be a major adjustment for any child, but it can be particularly overwhelming for a newly adopted child. However, with the right support, your child can feel confident and prepared to thrive in their new school environment. Here are eight tips to help you navigate the back-to-school transition smoothly. 1. Familiarize your […]
School 101: 8 tips to prepare your child for the school year
For adoptive and permanency families, navigating the education system can bring unique challenges. From sensitive assignments to fostering a sense of belonging, there’s a lot to consider. To help you and your child have a positive school experience, here are eight tips to help prepare you for the year ahead. 1. Sit in on a […]
Where are all the babies?
One of the most common questions our Family Support Specialist get is “Where are all the babies?” Heather Ratzlaff, former Family Support team member had this to say on the topic. In Canada today, contraceptives, abortion, and support for expectant and single mothers are more widely available than ever before. This has led to fewer available infants. […]
Common adoption myths
Here, we answer some of the most common questions we get about adoption. If I want to adopt from foster care, do I have to start as a foster parent? I can’t imagine having to give back a child I love. Many adoptions from foster care don’t involve fostering the child first. After being matched […]
My life with FASD
People with FASD struggle with lifelong behaviour and learning problems. In this article, one young adoptee shares her story of life with FASD. All names have been changed. What assumptions do you make when you see someone in a wheelchair? Or with a hearing aid or really thick glasses? What if they have a red […]
FASD: It’s not just the brain
Research reveals that prenatal alcohol exposure impacts the entire body, not just the brain. A whole-body disorder For the past several decades, the widely held assumption in the field of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD) research has been that a fetus’s brain is by far more vulnerable to the damaging effects of alcohol exposure than […]
Caring for Indigenous families
The Indigenous Perspectives Society (IPS), formerly Caring for First Nations Children Society, is a registered charitable non-profit founded in 1994. IPS has played a significant role in the delivery of training and policy development in the Indigenous child welfare field. We interviewed IPS staff about their recent move into providing support and training to caregivers […]
Meet the Imrie family
Meet the Imrie family: Jody is a special education teacher and foster-turned-adoptive mom who lives in Vancouver with her daughter (6) and son (7). How did you get started as a foster parent? From the time I was a teenager, I always knew I wanted to adopt children. I just always felt that there were […]
Trauma matters
Advice from a counsellor on how to recognize and help wounded children and youth. Trauma: adoption’s shadow Many children and youth who are adopted have been exposed to highly stressful situations and traumatic events; however, the resulting special needs these children can experience aren’t always recognized or supported. It’s vital for caregivers and professionals to […]
Q&A: FASD and the senses
The growing body of knowledge about interventions and supports that promote success for people with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASDs) often overlooks sensory sensitivities, which can compound their other challenges. While most of us can unconsciously screen out the slight smell of a cleaning product or the faint hum of a computer, many people with […]
A waiting parent’s plea
Inspiration from Alberta For 32 years, Alberta has profiled children in need of adoption on their weekly Wednesday’s Child TV program. For 12 years, the province has also successfully profiled “harder to place” children on a public website. These campaigns regularly generate new applications from potential parents who go on to be matched with waiting […]
Meet the Berg family
Adoption: a lifelong dream Janice’s interest in adoption started when she was just a little girl. She remembers one of her favourite childhood games was to play “adoption agency” with her dolls. She’d line them all up on her bedroom floor and then choose one or two to “adopt.” That idea obviously had staying power. […]
Meet the Vaillancourt family
My first encounter with the idea of children in care who needed families was during a church service as a little girl. The speaker shared unsettling statistics about kids who age out of care and end up incarcerated, homeless, or worse; kids who are separated from their siblings; and young adults who have no place […]
Many doors, no master key
Brandan’s story – and mine As the adoptive parent of 10 children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders, I know how difficult it can be to access services and develop a support network for people with FASDs. I regularly give presentations about FASD to groups, using the story of my son Brandan’s life (with his full […]
Adopted Voice: It’s not about gratitude
My adoption story Prior to my adoption, I lived in Tennessee with my birth mother (in utero) and then spent one year in foster care. Doctors’ assessments of my potential medical issues deterred black families from adopting me, so a white couple with experience parenting children with special needs was selected. I moved across the […]
Bulding trust
Growing up in foster care, I had great difficulties trusting others because it seemed that everyone was leaving me and often times fear and ignorance prevent trust. When I first me Joanne and John, I feared that this would be another relationship that would fail. My ignorance and fear got in the way of developing […]
Meet the Calhoun family
Like many couples, John Calhoun and Carly Bates found their way to adoption after experiencing infertility. It wasn’t an out-of-left-field choice for them, though. Carly says she told John on their first date that she wanted to adopt. It just took them a few years to get there. They knew they wanted to experience what […]
Love me, feed me: part two
Most folks who work with kids and food begin with a question: “What to feed?” There are countless articles and books about how to disguise veggies or sneak in more protein. But without steps one and two in place (the “how” of feeding, or the “feeding relationship”–see “Love Me, Feed Me” part one), step three is […]
And then there were eight
Rena and husband Jim Jones already had four biological children when they made the brave move to adopt a sibling group of four from the Ministry For Children and Family Development (MCFD) in 1996. Using the logic only the matriarch of an already large family could possibly use, Rena said, they had already fed, nurtured, […]
Ask the expert: Dr. Michael Grand
Over the past 30 years, Dr. Grand’s professional activities and research have been focused on search and reunion, adoptive family identity, provision of adoption services, and openness in legislation and practice. With his book, The Adoption Constellation: New Ways of Thinking About and Practicing Adoption, Grand challenges current and past adoption practices and discusses new and […]
Ask the expert: Mental health and trauma in children
Britta West is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Clinical Traumatologist located in Burnaby, BC. She completed her Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology from Yorkville University in 2009. In 2012, Britta completed the Clinical Traumatologist specialization from the Traumatology Institute. Her areas of expertise include attachment, trauma, mental health and behavioural health diagnoses and parenting. […]
Most teens do want to be adopted
Social worker Anne Melcombe is a big believer in teen adoption. Why? Because she knows that teens want families and that there are families who want to adopt teens. In this article, we meet some of those parents and the kids they will adopt. Anne Melcombe once asked a group of former foster kids if they […]
Meeting the challenges of parenting a special needs teen
In her book, The Face In the Mirror, Marion Crook provides an in-depth examination of teens feelings and perceptions about adoption. She says, “Adopted children need reassurance that they are loved and wanted…. Their appetite for proof that their parents love them and will continue to love them may seem insatiable.” Jayne is such a child. […]
Q&A: What people ask us about adopting special needs children
Note: This Q&A was originally published in 2013, when terms like “special needs” were more commonly used. We recognize that language evolves, and we now typically use terms such as “support needs,” “complex needs,” or “disabilities.” We’ve kept the original wording to preserve the authors’ voices and experiences as they were shared at the time. […]
Tips for families considering NAS or alcohol-affected babies
Adapted from: Susan Edelstein, Children with Prenatal Alcohol and/or Other Drug Exposure: Weighing the Risks of Adoption. Washington, DC: CWLA Press, 1995. Source: The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute (adoption research and studies).
Are you up to parenting a child with FASD?
When I met Susan Bell* in her large, Surrey home, I was immediately struck by how ordered and tidy it seemed, especially considering it’s home to several teens. I had pictured a far more hectic, cluttered place. Susan ushered me into her equally immaculate office, and we spoke for two hours about parenting kids with […]
Advice on adopting a sibling group
Cathy Sarino works for Kelowna Community Resources in their Special Needs Adoption Program. Her job is to help children understand, and hopefully accept, that they cannot live with their birth parents or their foster parents. She works with the children and their foster parents to deal with the grief and loss and guide them into […]
The siblings are here!
Having more sisters and brothers means more love and sometimes having to hide all your nailpolish. Kendra is 15 years old and a big sister to six siblings. Mary Caros interviewed Kendra about her experience with being the oldest sister in a family that chooses to adopt more children. Tell me a bit about your […]
Am I ready to adopt a sibling group?
Are you thinking of adopting a sibling group? Before you decide, ask the following: If you have answered “No” to any of these questions, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t adopt a sibling group! It means that you need to think carefully about the topics you have answered “No” to. Talk to one of our Family […]
Family is big to Sean Carlo
Sean Carlo is father to 15 children with 11 of them still at home. How does he cope? One child at a time. Sean Carlo and his wife Debbie started thinking about adoption some time after their fifth child, a daughter, was born. They often looked after four neighbor girls and found it too quiet […]
When forever comes
“Imagine being married to someone for eight years, and then being told that you have to get a divorce and some stranger will choose your new spouse. Then imagine moving in with that person after only knowing them for a little while. What if they don’t like you, or you don’t like them — what […]
Respite: how to make it a reality for your family
Respite is a vital support for many adoptive families, but it can be a challenge to access funding and to find trustworthy and reliable caregivers. In this article, an adoptive mom of many explains how to make respite a basic part of your family lifestyle rather than a last resort. “I can’t deal with this […]
Why we embraced our kids’ regression
“Daaaddyyy… I reddy for waaaiipe…!” My recently adopted child yelled out. “Coming!” I sang back. I look back now, years later, to those daily routines of officially being a bum wiper for my children as precious moments. They were opportunities for each of my children to know that I am dependable and committed, and that […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom series
Here are some of the articles from our long-running Diary of an Adoptive Mom series. This adoptive mother shares her experiences and secret thoughts of raising three children. This series ran from 2006 to 2010. Note: Diary entries #1 to #7 are unavailable
Siblings with FASD
An honest account of the fun and frustration involved in growing up with twin brothers who both have FASD. When I was in kindergarten, my parents adopted two-year-old twin brothers. They brought with them a double-dose of both love and of calamity. On the spectrum, both boys were easily diagnosed as “severely affected.” The first […]
The benefits of big families
Do big adoptive families work better for children with attachment issues? The families we spoke to all think so. These days, having numerous kids tends to be considered eccentric. For some children though, a bursting-at-the-seams-family may be exactly what they need. To learn more about how big adoptive families can benefit certain kids, and what […]
When that sibling call comes
Have you discussed the possibility of being asked to adopt one of your child’s siblings? As an adoptive parent, there is a chance that one day you will be asked if you would like to adopt one of your child’s siblings—maybe a newborn, perhaps a teen. That phone call will probably send you into instant […]
Help your child: Focus on strengths
Tara Webber, Registered Clinical Counsellor and adoptive mom, provides her tips on building a struggling child’s self-esteem. If you ask children what they do well, there is usually a long pause as they search for an answer. Ask them what they don’t do well, and they have an instant list. When I was working as […]
Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19
In the nineteenth of our series, our mom of three kids—Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn—wonders why so much information about her children’s past is still unavailable, and why she’s listed as Mom on their birth certificates. The other day I started to think about all my kids’ personal information being completely sealed […]
