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Help your child: Focus on strengths

Help your child: Focus on strengths

Tara Webber, Registered Clinical Counsellor and adoptive mom, provides her tips on building a struggling child’s self-esteem. If you ask children what they do well, there is usually a long pause as they search for an answer. Ask them what they don’t do well, and they have an instant list. When I was working as […]

Solutions in strengths

Solutions in strengths

Taking a child’s strengths as the starting point to solving their problems, and involving family and community, can work wonders. Chris Mundy sees his job as a combination of detective and anthropologist. After our interview, it’s easy to see why. As a behaviour consultant with CBI Consultants of Burnaby, Chris spends his days immersing himself in […]

Recognizing and coping with post-adoption depression

Recognizing and coping with post-adoption depression

Like new biological parents, some adoptive parents can become blue or even experience some depression once a baby or child comes home. This can occur for several reasons. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, but you do need to recognize it and get some help. I remember walking down the streets of East Vancouver pushing my newborn baby’s […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the nineteenth of our series, our mom of three kids—Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn—wonders why so much information about her children’s past is still unavailable, and why she’s listed as Mom on their birth certificates. The other day I started to think about all my kids’ personal information being completely sealed […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #18

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the eighteenth of our series, we present the, until now, secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids–Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn. This time, mom celebrates the imminent finalization of the children’s adoption, and gains some valuable information. I can’t believe it! The social worker just phoned and said she […]

Finally on the way to forever

Finally on the way to forever

Maya and John Benson adopted a sibling group almost three years ago. Despite careful preparation, and being experienced foster parents, the couple were soon devastated by the behaviours of their traumatized children—especially their oldest son. Being a forever family quickly seemed an impossible fantasy. Some parents who have adopted older kids or sibling groups will […]

The language of hurt kids

The language of hurt kids

Psychologists have given us a concept of non-verbal communication that makes an incredible amount of sense in the context of adoption — it is called inducement. Those of us who live or work with adopted children need to understand that inducement is the language of the abandoned. Inducement is the most important conceptual tool we […]

When emotional development is delayed

When emotional development is delayed

Your adopted child’s early life experiences may have caused a delay in their emotional development. Child and family counsellor and behav­iourist, Carol Olafson, explains how paying attention to emotional development can help you and your child. Emotional development is thought to be one of the most important factors in individuals being able to function well […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #16

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the sixteenth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids: Emily and her new siblings, Grant and Lynn. This time, a camping trip tests Diary Mom’s patience, and she prepares for a new school year. It’s been a hectic summer, and I have to admit some of […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #15

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the fifteenth of our series, we present the—until-now—secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom has been given an assignment by a behaviourist, Roz, who has some hard truths. Well, here’s another of those heart-wrenchingly truthful journal assignments from Roz. Things I wish I’d have known before adopting […]

From infertility to adoption: Are you ready?

From infertility to adoption: Are you ready?

A summary of Patricia Irwin Johnston’s presentation at the 2003 NACAC Conference. If you have experienced infertility and are thinking about adoption, here are some questions to ask yoruself before moving forward. Have you worked through your infertility losses? Have you ranked those losses (in a couple, feelings of loss may be different)? Losses may […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #14

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the 14th of our series, we presen the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids, Emily, Grant, and Lynn. This time, our struggling mom realizes that, though it’s slow, she is making progress with her kids. February Although I haven’t written in a while, don’t start thinking things are getting dull around […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #13

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the thirteenth of our series we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom feels better, and weathers Christmas. December Just this morning I was sitting in the van (as usual) waiting for the girls to finish preschool (as usual) when this bizarre and unfamiliar feeling […]

Help for the holidays

Help for the holidays

Holiday seasons can be tricky for any family. Adoption or permanency often adds an additional layer of joy and complexity. Here’s our guide to making it through the season. When holidays hurt As well as being a time of fun and family togetherness, celebrations can sometimes be difficult to navigate for adoptive families. For some […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #11

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the eleventh of our series we present the, until now, secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom faces her own feelings of loss over the life she had before the second adoption–a loss she feels is often not properly acknowledged. I feel like such an idiot; I […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #10

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the tenth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. The behaviourist, Roz, who has come in to help the struggling family is teaching Mom how actions speak louder than words. Roz has been observing the kids for a while now and although she still hasn’t come […]

What I’ve learned about openness and adoption

What I’ve learned about openness and adoption

Karen Madeiros, former Executive Director of the Belonging Network, shares her insights as an adoptive mother of two children from the US. Having personally experienced and witnessed the evolution of openness in adoption, she reflects on the valuable lessons learned from her journey. Why did you open up your adoptions? Like many prospective adoptive parents, […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #9

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the ninth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, mom loses confidence that she can cope. The past ten days have been an absolute nightmare. The foster parents came for a visit last weekend. We’d planned this a month ago, and we all through […]

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #8

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #19

In the eighth of our series, we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. After a couple of months having the children home, our mom finally admits she’s overwhelmed and needs help. No, I am not writing this from the psych ward. However, there are times when that is a definite […]

Why Romania has stopped adoptions

The permanent ban on adoption from Romania highlights the political nature of international adoption. Romania is a country from which many Canadians adopted throughout the 90s to 2001, when the government brought a moratorium into effect. The Romanian government has faced pressure from all sides, from countries whose citizens are eager to adopt, and from […]

FASD support group: A parenting lifeline

FASD support group: A parenting lifeline

“Are we scaring you?” the facilitator asked me in a very concerned voice. “Not at all,” I lied. My husband and I had recently brought home a sibling group of two, both of whom had been prentally exposed to alcohol and drugs. Despite all the reading and education we had done in advance, nothing prepared […]

Know the risks: Adopting an institutionalized child

Know the risks: Adopting an institutionalized child

The most difficult area in adoption medicine is predicting the needs of children adopted from orphanages. We are only beginning to understand how these kids are doing.  Studies have been too few to say with certainty what percentage is normal (even if we could define “normal”). Also, the situation changes with time. Some children resolve […]

The reality of child trafficking and adoption

The reality of child trafficking and adoption

On November 19, 2004, Lauryn Galindo, a Seattle intercountry adoption facilitator, was sentenced to 18 months in prison for the child trafficking of hundreds of Cambodian children. Galindo denied child trafficking charges but pled guilty to money laundering and visa fraud. She admits to falsifying children’s names, dates of birth, places of birth, and family […]

Hair and skin care for kids: A guide for parents of black and bi-racial children

Hair and skin care for kids: A guide for parents of black and bi-racial children

When Kelly Martin brought home her 21-month-old daughter, Kendall, there were all the common new-parent concerns: “How will I ever cut such tiny nails?” laughs Kelly. But Kendall is Haitian, and caring for black skin and hair was to be an additional learning experience for Kelly. Undaunted, she says, “I knew it was something I […]

A mother’s journey into her daughter’s past

A mother’s journey into her daughter’s past

In 2002, I had the opportunity to spend an incredible week with a wonderful friend, also an adoptive mother, visiting the country of our daughter’s birth. There were many moments when I felt guilty that Kahleah, nine, was not with me. She had said, ”I can’t believe you are visiting my birth country without me!” I was […]

Developing brains: Building attachment in adopted children

Developing brains: Building attachment in adopted children

Trauma and brain development The brain develops from the inside out. A newborn’s brain has about 100 billion cells. At birth, the primitive brain, called the brainstem, is sufficiently developed to insure that vital functions can be maintained independently for a short period. Baby can breathe, the heart beats, the body temperature self-regulates, reflexes are […]

Father’s fears quickly resolved after adoption

Father’s fears quickly resolved after adoption

David Murphy of Abbotsford, is brimming with family pride. There’s him, his wife Nikki, two-year-old Cody, the dog and two cats. Children were always going to be part of the Murphy family—there was no doubt about it. David recalls that on their honeymoon Nikki talked about starting a family. “I wanted to wait a year […]

Adopting a child with a risk of schizophrenia

Adopting a child with a risk of schizophrenia

Of the 650 children available for adoption through the Ministry, roughly 15 to 20 percent have a genetic psychiatric risk of mental illness such as a mental disability, schizophrenia, manic depression, or a personality disorder. In December, 2001, 77 children (or 16.5 %) carried this risk. Few applicants are interested in adopting children with a […]

Big family expands with two sons of Inuit heritage

Big family expands with two sons of Inuit heritage

The decision to adopt Kathy and Rick Miller already had four birth children between the ages of nine and 16, when they decided to add a sibling group of two to their family. “We enjoy children a lot,” said Kathy, who has a degree in Child and Youth Care. “We have lots of parenting experience, […]

FAS and international adoption: Know the risks

FAS and international adoption: Know the risks

No large Canadian study has been done on the incidence of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Fetal Alcohol Effect (also known as partial FAS) in children adopted internationally. However, Sunny Hill Health Centre for Children in Vancouver is collecting data, and it’s clear that any child adopted from any country could have been exposed to alcohol […]

Adopting a special needs child: Our journey

Adopting a special needs child: Our journey

About six years ago, we decided it was time to start building our family. When the old-fashioned way didn’t work for us, I began researching international adoption. The enormous costs, as well as the health problems many children face, were discouraging, so I spoke with our doctor about other options. He referred us to a […]