To Russia with regrets
When a seven-year-old boy, adopted by an American family, was returned to Moscow with a note explaining that his new family no longer wanted him, there was universal outrage. According to the adoptive grandmother, the family was unaware of the behavioural challenges the young boy had, and they became overwhelmed with fear after he openly […]
Respite: how to make it a reality for your family
Respite is a vital support for many adoptive families, but it can be a challenge to access funding and to find trustworthy and reliable caregivers. In this article, an adoptive mom of many explains how to make respite a basic part of your family lifestyle rather than a last resort. “I can’t deal with this […]
Why we embraced our kids’ regression
“Daaaddyyy… I reddy for waaaiipe…!” My recently adopted child yelled out. “Coming!” I sang back. I look back now, years later, to those daily routines of officially being a bum wiper for my children as precious moments. They were opportunities for each of my children to know that I am dependable and committed, and that […]
Open adoption for birth parents
A guide that covers the basics of openness and adoption for birth parents. Birth parents matter Sometimes you might not feel like it, but you are important to your child. Even if you are not parenting your child, it doesn’t mean you can’t play an important role—you can. Kids usually want to know where they […]
Adoption for beginners
Am I ready to adopt? Before you decide, consider the following questions: If you have answered “No” to any of these questions, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t adopt a child, it means that you need to think carefully about the topics you have answered “no” to. Talk to your adoption agency, a counsellor, or one […]
Return to Romania
An adoption reunion can answer many questions. It can also change an adoptee’s life in unexpected ways. When she packed her birth certificate, some cherished photographs, and set off, Sevdin MacDonald hoped they might provide valuable clues that would lead to her lost family in Romania. Sevdin was adopted from Romania at two-and-a-half years old, […]
Siblings with FASD
An honest account of the fun and frustration involved in growing up with twin brothers who both have FASD. When I was in kindergarten, my parents adopted two-year-old twin brothers. They brought with them a double-dose of both love and of calamity. On the spectrum, both boys were easily diagnosed as “severely affected.” The first […]
BC transracial adoptee shares her story
Why did you write the book? The inspiration (this is one of a series of books) stems from my own experience and from talking to adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents. Throughout my life I’ve had to answer so many “why?” questions: “Why is your skin so dirty?” “Why don’t you look like your mom […]
Adoption for family and friends
We are pleased to share with you some information on adoption. We hope it will help us all to celebrate the adoption in our family. Adoption ABCs Opening up adoption Fostering the facts Transracial adoption Most parents who have adopted a child of another race or culture have stories about hurtful and racist remarks. This […]
Finding lost family through the Internet
As I prepared to adopt, I knew there was a “right” answer when it came to openness. Openness was good, and I needed to come across like I believed it. The truth was, openness scared me silly. What I really hoped was that any child we adopted would have an unfortunate, yet complete, lack of […]
You know your child. Be an advocate.
Galya was adopted from Russia at age 11. Her new parents quickly learned ways to help their child with this momentous transition. They also fought the school system, which so often fails to acknowledge the challenges faced by an internationally adopted child. Galya was almost 12 years old when we brought her home from Novosibirsk. […]
Finding families closer to home
The Belonging Network programs prove that, in many cases, there are people in a child’s existing network who are willing to adopt the child. Social workers Kirsty Stormer and Anne Melcombe explain how these programs work. Ed. Note: Two of the Belonging Network’s social workers are funded by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption through […]
Help your child: Focus on strengths
Tara Webber, Registered Clinical Counsellor and adoptive mom, provides her tips on building a struggling child’s self-esteem. If you ask children what they do well, there is usually a long pause as they search for an answer. Ask them what they don’t do well, and they have an instant list. When I was working as […]
The language of hurt kids
Psychologists have given us a concept of non-verbal communication that makes an incredible amount of sense in the context of adoption — it is called inducement. Those of us who live or work with adopted children need to understand that inducement is the language of the abandoned. Inducement is the most important conceptual tool we […]
When emotional development is delayed
Your adopted child’s early life experiences may have caused a delay in their emotional development. Child and family counsellor and behaviourist, Carol Olafson, explains how paying attention to emotional development can help you and your child. Emotional development is thought to be one of the most important factors in individuals being able to function well […]
What I’ve learned about openness and adoption
Karen Madeiros, former Executive Director of the Belonging Network, shares her insights as an adoptive mother of two children from the US. Having personally experienced and witnessed the evolution of openness in adoption, she reflects on the valuable lessons learned from her journey. Why did you open up your adoptions? Like many prospective adoptive parents, […]
Why Romania has stopped adoptions
The permanent ban on adoption from Romania highlights the political nature of international adoption. Romania is a country from which many Canadians adopted throughout the 90s to 2001, when the government brought a moratorium into effect. The Romanian government has faced pressure from all sides, from countries whose citizens are eager to adopt, and from […]
FASD support group: A parenting lifeline
“Are we scaring you?” the facilitator asked me in a very concerned voice. “Not at all,” I lied. My husband and I had recently brought home a sibling group of two, both of whom had been prentally exposed to alcohol and drugs. Despite all the reading and education we had done in advance, nothing prepared […]
Know the risks: Adopting an institutionalized child
The most difficult area in adoption medicine is predicting the needs of children adopted from orphanages. We are only beginning to understand how these kids are doing. Studies have been too few to say with certainty what percentage is normal (even if we could define “normal”). Also, the situation changes with time. Some children resolve […]
The reality of child trafficking and adoption
On November 19, 2004, Lauryn Galindo, a Seattle intercountry adoption facilitator, was sentenced to 18 months in prison for the child trafficking of hundreds of Cambodian children. Galindo denied child trafficking charges but pled guilty to money laundering and visa fraud. She admits to falsifying children’s names, dates of birth, places of birth, and family […]
Hair and skin care for kids: A guide for parents of black and bi-racial children
When Kelly Martin brought home her 21-month-old daughter, Kendall, there were all the common new-parent concerns: “How will I ever cut such tiny nails?” laughs Kelly. But Kendall is Haitian, and caring for black skin and hair was to be an additional learning experience for Kelly. Undaunted, she says, “I knew it was something I […]
Developing brains: Building attachment in adopted children
Trauma and brain development The brain develops from the inside out. A newborn’s brain has about 100 billion cells. At birth, the primitive brain, called the brainstem, is sufficiently developed to insure that vital functions can be maintained independently for a short period. Baby can breathe, the heart beats, the body temperature self-regulates, reflexes are […]
Father’s fears quickly resolved after adoption
David Murphy of Abbotsford, is brimming with family pride. There’s him, his wife Nikki, two-year-old Cody, the dog and two cats. Children were always going to be part of the Murphy family—there was no doubt about it. David recalls that on their honeymoon Nikki talked about starting a family. “I wanted to wait a year […]
Adopting a child with a risk of schizophrenia
Of the 650 children available for adoption through the Ministry, roughly 15 to 20 percent have a genetic psychiatric risk of mental illness such as a mental disability, schizophrenia, manic depression, or a personality disorder. In December, 2001, 77 children (or 16.5 %) carried this risk. Few applicants are interested in adopting children with a […]
Big family expands with two sons of Inuit heritage
The decision to adopt Kathy and Rick Miller already had four birth children between the ages of nine and 16, when they decided to add a sibling group of two to their family. “We enjoy children a lot,” said Kathy, who has a degree in Child and Youth Care. “We have lots of parenting experience, […]
FAS and international adoption: Know the risks
No large Canadian study has been done on the incidence of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Fetal Alcohol Effect (also known as partial FAS) in children adopted internationally. However, Sunny Hill Health Centre for Children in Vancouver is collecting data, and it’s clear that any child adopted from any country could have been exposed to alcohol […]
Adopting a special needs child: Our journey
About six years ago, we decided it was time to start building our family. When the old-fashioned way didn’t work for us, I began researching international adoption. The enormous costs, as well as the health problems many children face, were discouraging, so I spoke with our doctor about other options. He referred us to a […]
