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Ask the expert: Trauma-informed care

Ask the expert: Trauma-informed care

Rebekah Craig, former Education Manager at the Belonging Network, sat down with Registered Clinical Counsellor Carrie DeJong to discuss trauma-informed care. You can also view the full video of the interview here. Why it is important to consider someone’s past that may have had exposure to trauma? Trauma produces a lot of emotional, behavioural, or […]

A waiting parent’s plea

A waiting parent’s plea

Preparing to welcome a new child is one of the most intense, emotional, and demanding times in any waiting parent’s adoption journey. It’s also when friends and family are likely to have the most questions! Keeping everyone in the loop can be overwhelming. One way to handle it is to write a letter. Here’s a […]

Extreme parenting: Taking charge with love

Extreme parenting: Taking charge with love

My kids matter, but I’m in charge I want my kids to know that what they like and what they think matters to me. My predisposition is to say yes to all possibilities. I only say “no” after some consideration. However, my kids were starting to get the impression that it was OK to disrespect […]

Romanian adoption research

Romanian adoption research

These are the findings of Dr. Elinor Ames’ research on the Development of Romanian Children Adopted to Canada. In 1990, Dr. Ames, an adoptive parent and professor of developmental psychology at BC’s Simon Fraser University, began her research on the effects of institutionalization on children adopted to BC from Romanian orphanages. That same year, 1013 […]

The truth about confabulation

The truth about confabulation

Is it lying? No, it’s confabulation and there’s a big difference! Time and time again we hear from adoptive parents that one of the hardest behaviours to take is children lying to them. They experience the lie as a personal affront, a show of disrespect, and a harbinger of anti-social behaviour to come. There are […]

To Russia with regrets

To Russia with regrets

When a seven-year-old boy, adopted by an American family, was returned to Moscow with a note explaining that his new family no longer wanted him, there was universal outrage. According to the adoptive grandmother, the family was unaware of the behavioural challenges the young boy had, and they became overwhelmed with fear after he openly […]

Why we embraced our kids’ regression

Why we embraced our kids’ regression

“Daaaddyyy… I reddy for waaaiipe…!” My recently adopted child yelled out. “Coming!” I sang back. I look back now, years later, to those daily routines of officially being a bum wiper for my children as precious moments. They were opportunities for each of my children to know that I am dependable and committed, and that […]

Help your child: Focus on strengths

Help your child: Focus on strengths

Tara Webber, Registered Clinical Counsellor and adoptive mom, provides her tips on building a struggling child’s self-esteem. If you ask children what they do well, there is usually a long pause as they search for an answer. Ask them what they don’t do well, and they have an instant list. When I was working as […]

Helping children cope with and understand abandonment

Helping children cope with and understand abandonment

We know that the stress of  growing within a mother who is considering whether she will be able to raise the child she is carrying affects the developing brain of the fetus. Primed to connect on an unmistakably profound level at birth, the newborn or older baby or child, regardless of the excellence of the care […]