In this personal reflection, adoptee and social worker Jen Richards shares how openness, connection, and learning about her roots have shaped her sense of identity and belonging. Drawing from her own experience, she highlights why these connections can be so meaningful for adoptees.
As both an adoptee and a social worker, I have witnessed firsthand the profound impact that openness can have in adoption. I was adopted as a newborn through a closed adoption. While I was incredibly fortunate to have a loving and supportive upbringing, I struggled with questions of identity throughout my life. I had no access to my medical history, which created its own challenges, and I often felt as though an important part of me was missing.
During my practicums in adoption and child protection, I began to see the value of maintaining connections with birth families. Those experiences inspired me to begin my own search for my biological roots, a decision for which I am deeply grateful. I first connected with my maternal family. Although those connections ultimately ended in heartbreak, they led me to form a meaningful and lasting relationship with my birth father, sister, and brother. I grew up as an only child, so finding out that I had siblings was one of the biggest highlights of my life.
Through my journey, I also learned that I am Métis. Discovering my Indigenous heritage was both affirming and life-changing. It validated feelings and questions I had carried with me for as long as I could remember. At the same time, it brought new challenges. I experienced a deep sense of loss knowing that I had spent twenty-six years disconnected from my culture, community, and ancestry. Even today, I sometimes feel like an outsider when people ask whether I am Indigenous because I spent most of my life identifying differently.
I am proud to be an adoptee, and I am encouraged by how much adoption practices have evolved over the years. While the safety and well-being of children must always remain the top priority, I firmly believe that openness and connection could have changed the trajectory of my life. It could have spared me years of confusion, grief, and internal struggle as I searched for answers about who I was and where I came from.
I cannot speak for all adoptees, as every adoption story is unique. However, I believe many adoptees would agree that there is a powerful and often unexplainable desire to understand our origins, our families, and our roots. For many of us, that need is deeply ingrained. Openness provides the opportunity for those connections to exist, and in doing so, it helps adoptees build a stronger sense of identity, belonging, and wholeness. Openness is not just beneficial, it is transformative.
Jen Richards is an adoptee, proud mom of two, and social worker with a passion for adoption advocacy and ensuring adoptee voices are heard. She is outgoing and loves being active, spending time outdoors, making memories with family and friends, and always having an audiobook queued up.
