If you’re stepping in to raise a relative’s child, you’re doing something truly meaningful. Whether you’re a grandparent, aunt, uncle, sibling, or close family friend, you’re giving a child stability, love and a sense of belonging when they need it most. But let’s be honest — it’s not always easy.

Kinship care comes with a lot of love and a fair share of challenges. You might not get the same support foster or adoptive parents do, and sometimes it can feel like you’re figuring things out on your own. That’s why we’ve put together a few practical tips that might make the journey a little smoother.

Create safety and routine

Kids who’ve been through big changes do best when things feel predictable.

  • Keep mealtimes, bedtime, and school routines steady.
  • Try using a visual calendar or checklist if transitions are tough.
  • Have a cozy spot in your home where your child can relax when they’re upset or need quiet time.

Connect before you correct

Kids in kinship care may carry grief, trauma, or confusion about their situation. Behaviours often speak louder than words.

  1. Take a breath and get curious about what’s really behind the behaviour.
  2. Offer choices to give them a bit of control.
  3. Instead of punishing, use natural consequences (e.g., if they forget their lunch, they’ll be extra hungry for dinner).

Help them understand their story

Kids in kinship care can feel pulled between their birth parents and you. That’s tough for them.

  • Be open and honest (in ways they can understand) about why they’re with you.
  • Keep connections with safe family members and siblings when possible.
  • Celebrate your family traditions while honouring their parents’ culture and history too.

Don’t forget yourself

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of you helps everyone.

  • Connect with other caregivers who “get it.” You’ll be surprised how much that helps.
  • Ask for breaks. Even short ones matter.
  • Find small ways to recharge (short walks, journaling, music, a chat with a friend)

Need more ideas? Check out our Self-care for parents and caregivers toolkit. It’s full of practical, easy ways to care for yourself.

Reach out for support

You don’t have to do this alone. In BC, there are organizations and programs that understand what kinship caregivers go through and can help you feel supported, informed, and connected.

  • The Belonging Network (that’s us!): We offer virtual learning opportunities, support groups, in-person or virtual parent meetups, private Facebook groups, and one-to-one support with our Family Support Specialist. Whether you need someone to talk to or guidance through challenges, we’re here to help you and your family thrive.
  • Kinship Care Helpline (Parent Support Services Society of BC): If you need advice or just someone to listen, this free and confidential helpline is available at 1-855-474-9777. The trained volunteers understand kinship care and can connect you to local supports and programs.
  • Grants and funding options: Programs such as the I·SPARK grant help cover the cost of children’s sports, arts, and recreational activities, giving kids opportunities to learn, grow, and connect with peers.
  • Family Resource Programs: Found in many communities across BC, these centres offer drop-in playgroups, parenting workshops, and family counselling. They’re a great way to meet other caregivers, build new skills, and find community close to home.

Remember: You’re not alone

Raising a child takes heart, patience, and courage. There will be hard days, but you’re part of a community that’s here for you. These children don’t need perfect caregivers. They need steady, loving ones. And that’s exactly what you are.